seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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