he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
