all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
