For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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