Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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