The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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