You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
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