just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
