rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
