Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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