My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
