Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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