I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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