Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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