Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
