Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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