I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
