How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize