i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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