similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
