I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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