Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
