Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
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Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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