wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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