i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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