I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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