god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
