I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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