Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
