she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
