What did we do last night that was yellow?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
