do herpes really smell.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
