i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
