She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
