Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
