wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
