i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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