dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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