Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize