i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Damn victory sex feels great
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
