I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
