chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
