What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
