Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
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I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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