If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
