love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize