I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
