i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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