My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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