somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
