I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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