how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
