Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
