My first STD was from a foam party
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize