oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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