So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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