please come you make the beer taste better
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
