and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
They took my balls.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
